I’m like so over this being chronically ill thing. I need a break from my own body.
For example, right now. I am sat in my kitchen. I have just put yesterdays washing up away, whilst bawling my eyes out through the agony. I then have had to sit down and have a rest (whilst clutching a bucket as I have the overwhelming sense that I am going to vomit). Because my body cannot cope with doing too much at once. I have also had to get the office chair so that I can change the height and sit on it to do today’s washing up. But right now, I have to sit on the floor in case I faint/body give way. I would like to just have a break from my body and live a normal existence. Please.
Yesterday
I woke up in agony with a pain in my left calf, my medication couldn’t touch it. I went online to NHS Direct, which said I needed to see an emergency doctor at my local doctors. I rang the surgery but unless you ring at 8 in the morning you can’t get an appointment. So I had to go to the walk in clinic and wait. After an hour I saw a doctor who said I had signs of DVT and should go to A&E.
I don’t know how to get to A&E from there or by public transport. So while I was trying to call my boyfriend I used the free computers to work out where I was going. It took ages and I started to feel lightheaded when BAM! I fainted.
Somebody called an ambulance which then refused to come unless a doctor confirmed it. Then the doctor called an ambulance and they said it would take an hour to get to me. In the meantime, a complete stranger decided to sort things out for me and got me an ambulance within ten minutes.
The ambulance crew took me to the hospital where I waited an obscene amount of time to be told that I don’t have a DVT and there’s nothing they can do for the pain and it’s probably a new pain linked it with my chronic pain.
I left the hospital at 11pm.
I hate being ill.
